


Hungry Demons

by wellthatjusthappend



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: And Jason is underaged if you follow the timeline of his death for this, Angst, Enhanced Strength, Feeding, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Healing, Incubus Jason, M/M, Mind Control, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Self-Hatred, Someone help Jason, Starvation, Succubi & Incubi, Suicidal Thoughts, a little unusual take on it though, demon prejudice, discussion of suicide, housemates with benifits, incubus au, there is hope at the end!, though that's implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-12-12 00:46:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11726022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthatjusthappend/pseuds/wellthatjusthappend
Summary: Everyone has their inner demons that they must fight… perhaps especially when the person in question is a demon.





	1. Jason's POV

**Author's Note:**

> So this came out of musing about Incubus and Succubus. Especially about how someone might adapt to being turned into an one. Some people might take to it alright, most people would struggle a lot with it especially at first, and for some people it would be a disastrous. 
> 
> Jason, I decided, would most likely be the latter. Hence this story.

Jason clutched at his own sheets to keep himself in place. There was a trembling in his limbs that had started a couple of hours ago and had only gotten worse since. He was burning, burning from the inside out. He was so hungry it felt like he was dying _._

He hoped he was. He didn’t think he could live with this state of being for very much longer.

The most important thing though was that he was alone. He’d known he was going to try to starve himself to death, and he’d known that if there were any humans nearby he’d be able to influence them in his desperation to come here a sate his hunger. Jason could keep his influence to himself at full strength, but as weak as he was…

All he had to do was want them badly enough and they wouldn't be able to even think of saying no.

But Jason refused to be that kind of monster.

Or rather, he was _technically_ supposed to be that kind of monster but he refused to give in. It wasn’t like he was like this by choice after all.

Ra’s al Ghul was a twisted demon, that was the short version of it. The longer one was that after Jason had been killed by the Joker, the Demon Head had taken his body and brought him back to life by turning him into an Incubus. There was an official reason for it, something about honor and paying back debts to the Bat. But the unofficial reason was that they wanted to see if it could be done and if it was worth using on Ra’s own men later on.

There were certainly benefits to being an incubi. Jason was stronger than he’d ever been in his life. His senses hypersensitive and he could recover from just about any injury so long as he fed. He also had an incredible about of influence over humans now. Could take away their free will with merely a thought and make them do whatever he wanted them to.

The catch was of course that Jason needed sex to live.

Something like that probably sounded like a fuckboys dream come true. However, those sorts of people were generally the type that Jason thought deserved a bullet to the brain. Jason had grown up seeing up close exactly all the sorts of depraved shit people did to each other and rape and sexual exploitation was pretty high on that list. They were the sorts of crimes Jason reserved the worst sorts of punishment for.

He wouldn’t become that. He couldn’t. He’d rather die.

Because even if the person wouldn’t be able to help but love every touch he gave them, even if he could make them just as hungry for _him,_ it’d still be rape because none of them would really ever be able to say no to him. Even if they approached _Jason_ and offered seemingly willingly, Jason couldn’t bring himself to touch any of them. How did he know that he hadn’t accidentally influenced any of them? Was there even a way to be sure of that? He was irresistible to humans now, or something close. And even if they were genuine, the the fact that Jason was feeding off their pleasure without their knowledge definitely felt exploitative.

Ra’s had given up on him fairly quickly after he’d refused to eat Jason had been able to run off. Talia had been much more persistent, insisting that Jason had potential and shouldn’t be so selfish as to throw away his second chance at life like this. That there were things he needed to do.

“You remain unavenged.” she’d whispered and it’d been like poison in his mind.

But he still wouldn’t feed, much to her frustration.

He’d thought he’d won the argument because she dropped the issue, but really she’d just been biding her time. She’d apparently been hoping that as he grew weaker he’d get desperate and be unable to stop himself. He _had_ gotten desperate but he’d locked himself away trying to accept that apparently he wouldn’t be able to enact his revenge on the Joker, would never get Bruce to see sense. There never had been an alternative for him because there were some choices he wasn’t capable of making.

It ended up though that Talia took the choice out of his hands.

She waited until Jason got too weak to stop her then came to his room and climbed on top of him. After one night, his strength had returned and he’d been faster and stronger than ever, his fighting flawless and his thoughts clear and lighting fast for once. Unfortunately this convinced Talia that she had done the right thing and she was unrepentant for her actions. The fact that she had always planned to force him to sleep with her if he didn’t feed- even before she’d first approached him all those weeks earlier- made things… confusing. On the one hand, at least he was sure he hadn’t influenced her and she had been 100% willing. But on the other hand… Jason hadn’t really wanted to sleep with her.

He couldn’t make himself think the R word even in his head. He figured it was probably different because he was a monster and needed sex to live so maybe it didn’t count for him.

Whatever word should be applied to it, there was no denying that it was a temporary fix. Inevitably, Jason started getting hungry again. He hid it this time as best as he could be Talia wasn’t fooled. This time she didn’t wait as long. Jason had strength to resist so she had him tied down and brought in a string of humans until he was a sated as he could be as incubus. It was frustrating that it always felt so good no matter what they did to him. He almost wished it could be awful.

The process repeated every few months. Talia spoke of these “force feedings” very casually like they were a simple fact of life, as inevitable as the rising sun. Jason honestly didn’t know how to feel about them so he tried not to think about it at all. Still, Talia was impatient with his reluctance.

“You’re an incubus,” She’d chided him, “I am giving you what you need and you know it.”

Jason hadn’t bothered answering. Just kept training. It wasn’t like Talia was one to be swayed once she made her mind up about something. Jason wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hate her or not but he didn’t. Just felt vaguely resigned.

“You should be grateful,” She’d told him, “I’m helping you achieve your goal even when you’re clearly too cowardly to do all that is necessary.”

She might be stubborn but so was he. Never once did he sway in his convictions, even if he knew it would make his life so much easier.

Once he had everything he needed from Talia, he’d run away without looking back and returned to Gotham to make his debut as Red Hood. He’d starved himself throughout his whole stay in the city even if it’d have made things easier if he’d been at full strength. He'd only ever been force fed anyway and he wasn't going to start voluntarily feeding any time soon, that was for fucking sure. Then, the thrill of finally giving the scum of Gotham what they deserved and cleaning up the streets _his_ way had been enough. He’d planned to be dead by the end of all this anyway.

He desperately hoped Bruce loved him more than the Joker, but he wasn’t truly able to believe it. He knew he’d never be first in his heart on any scale. Not in the past, and certainly not now that he was a monster. Didn't stop him from desperately wanting it though. 

And perhaps he should have moved up the timeline considering his growing hunger but he’d wanted everything to be perfect. Maximum impact. But even after all his meticulous planning Batman had still found a way around the impossible choice he’d set him.

After, Jason had been laying in the ruins of the blown up building- again- injured and so hungry he couldn’t even think. Batman had come for him, pulled him out, his touches worried and platonic at first… and then abruptly not. Quite suddenly Jason had had a mouth on his and hands desperately trying to undo the clasps of his armor. It felt so completely wonderful that he'd clung to him even in his surprise. But it was also so completely out of character that it had startled Jason out of his starving haze.

Bruce wasn’t the type- Bruce would _never_ willing touch him of that Jason was sure. This had to be- Jason had lost his grip on his hunger and accidentally taken away Bruce’s will. The thought made him want to throw up and he’d shoved Bruce off and ran for it. Bruce had been too disoriented to chase him at the time.

He didn't want to know what Bruce had thought of the encounter. The man had to have figured out that something was unnatural about it though, it was too intense of a forced reaction for him not to. Bruce would have tried to dig up every secret he could on Jason. By now he was sure know the truth.

Jason couldn't stand the idea.

His hunger was intense, but his need to be far away from Bruce was even greater. He'd fled to a train that had taken him inland and Jason had eventually made his way to a graveyard on the outskirts of town. The undertaker was long gone and Jason thought it a fitting place to die. Again. He should have died in that explosion. He tried again, but physical injury didn’t seem to work. It wasn’t like incubus were completely immortal, they could be killed with very special tools… which Jason didn’t have and couldn’t get access to in his state of weakness and depleted resources. Bruce would be able to track such things anyway and would be sure to try and stop him.

The other option was to let himself starve to death.

It was a longer process than Jason would have preferred, but he was close enough to the brink that he’d deal with it. He had to. Because if he was a monster that was even capable of hurting Bruce that way- Batman, with his will of iron and principles so strong he wouldn’t even killing the fucking Joker for his Robin- then Jason was clearly too dangerous with his shaky control.

One of these day Jason was going to slip and he couldn’t live with that. So instead he lay on the large bed and tried not to think. When he'd first come he'd exercised to distract himself. Not he din't have the strength for even that. The fever that'd come that day was new, and hopefully a good sign. He was getting close at least, but he wasn't quite there...

Jason felt the humans before he saw them. His hunger surged and he reined it back with difficulty.

The window of the small house creaked open and Tim and Dick had slipped inside. His replacement and the boy who would always be better than him in every way. Of course they would be the ones to find him. Jason grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes close because this had to be a bad fever dream brought on by his starvation.

"Oh, Jason..." Dick murmured walking forward, Tim a quite shadow on his heals. 

"Get the fuck out." Jason tried to sound as threatening as possible.

“Jason, we- we _know_.” Dick said and his voice was too pitying for Jason to deal with.

Jason pulled the sheet up around himself tighter like a shield.

“Bruce found Ra’s and got him to tell him everything. It’s not your fault. No one thinks it is. Please, come home and we’ll figure out something.” Dick pleaded coming closer.

“Fuck you, I knew what I was doing.” Jason gave in and snarled at him, “Me being- like this doesn’t change the fact that Bruce is a coward who loves villains more than he does any of us.”

“Jason, that’s not true and you know it!” Dick protested.

“It is true!” Jason snapped, “Or did you miss the part where he spelled it out so prettily at our show down?”

“You-”

“Dick.” Tim spoke for the first time holding up his hand cautiously as he surveyed Jason’s state with a critical eye. God, Jason wanted to shoot the little shit in the face. The fact that he was right to be cautious only made it worse.

“What is it?” Dick asked impatiently, “You know I’m right, you know Bruce-”

“Dick, he’s affecting you.” Tim said quietly.

Jason’s stomach lurched unpleasantly as he realized Tim was right. Even Dick looked surprised, apparently he hadn't noticed anything. Which was almost worse. Dick’s eyes were blown huge and dark, his hands trembling faintly, and the outline of his cock clearly visible. It made Jason’s insides throb with desire, made him part his thighs unconsciously under the sheets... made Dick’s face go suddenly dazed as he stumbled a little closer and reached out towards him. Even Tim shivered and eyes losing their focus for a moment, cheeks flushing the prettiest red.

Jason snapped his control back harshly and tried to breathe deeply enough that he could get back some of his sanity. He wouldn't be that monster.

“Oh, whoa, I hadn’t even realized- what’d you just do? The room just got like, 10 degrees cooler again. Feels like I can suddenly breathe...” Dick said shaking his head to clear it and staring at the hand that had been stretching out as if it belonged to a stranger.

If Jason needed any more confirmation that he was damned to hell this was definitely it. He’d started to make fucking Golden Boy-

“Exactly how hungry are you right now Jason?” Tim asked sharply.

“Fuck you Replacement.” Jason snapped.

“Well you certainly will be if your control slips like that again, so I need to know: how hungry are you right now? Is this going to be a problem?” Tim said stonily. Jason almost laughed even though none of this was funny. Tim was just over a year younger than him but he gave off an air as if he was far older.

“Do you think I would have locked myself out here if it wasn’t a problem?” Jason asked bitterly, “You two need to get the fuck out of here, I’m not safe.”

“Jason…” Dick started.

“How long has it been since you last… fed?” Tim asked squaring his shoulders, eyes sharp and cautious.

Jason stayed silent.

“Jason this is important.” Tim said seriously.

“...Just over 4 and a half months.” Jason mumbled looking away.

“Jesus, Little Wing…” Dick breathed sounding suddenly extremely worried and fuck if that name didn't wreck havoc on Jason's emotions.

“Why?” Tim asked sharply, “That’s incredibly dangerous for you and the people around you. Why would you do that? It’s surprising that you didn’t die or attack someone.”

“Because maybe I don’t want to be a fucking monster, did you think of that, huh? Just because I got changed into- this doesn’t mean I’m ok with raping people.” snapped Jason.

“Surely it doesn’t have to be like that?” Dick said uncertainly, “Couldn’t you just pick up one night stands or something?”

“Yeah? And did it feel like you had a choice just minute ago? Even though you were the one reaching out for me?” Jason sighed rubbing his head. God he was burning, but he couldn’t- “Just fucking leave me here.”

“To what, let you die? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you keep starving yourself.” Tim said narrowly.

“That was the plan.” Jason said dryly.

“No, fuck that.” Dick cut in fiercely, “Tim, go home. I’m going to feed Jason.”

“The hell you are Golden Boy-”

“Dick that’s really dangerous-”

“I’m saying yes, ok, Jason? It’s fine.” Dick assured him.

“You can’t.” Jason’s voice cracked, “You don’t want this- don’t-”

“It’s not the best of circumstance, I’ll admit, but-” Dick admitted with a grimace.

“No.” Jason shot him down feeling half crazed and shaky, “No, I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“I- Okay, that’s fair. We can go out and find somebody else willing.” Dick tried, “It’ll be fine-”

“No.”

“Jay, you’re an incubus,” Dick sighed in exasperation, “Please, we just want to give you what you need and you know it.”

Jason couldn’t stop himself from flinching away from that hard. Somewhere, Talia was laughing at him.

“No.” Jason said and there was a hysterical edge to his voice even he could hear. He tried to get up on the bed to scramble away from them but he couldn’t, “No, I can’t do it.”

“Jason…” Dick suddenly looked extremely worried. Jason didn’t know what kind of expression was on his face but it couldn’t have been good.

“I said no!” he yelled at them, feeling wild and angry and terrified. Dick backed up a bit hands up in surrender looking shaky. Tim stayed where he was but looked deeply troubled.

“We heard you.” Tim said quietly.

“Then you, the you know if anything happens it’s against my will.” Jason growled. Dick made a small pained noise but Tim never broke eye contact.

“We understand.” Tim said steadily, “And we won’t do that to you. We’ll never do those sorts of things with you without your explicit consent.”

“I…” Jason struggled with his surprise for a moment and scolded himself. Of course they wouldn’t touch even an incubus without it’s permission. They were Bat’s, they didn’t do that kind of shit. There would be no “force feeding” from these two. Jason knew that meant he’d probably die, but he could help the rush of relief that flooded him.

“Can we stay and at least take care of you?” Dick asked weakly.

“It’s not safe.” Protested Jason weakly, “I’m a monster remember?”

“You’re not-” Dick started angrily but Tim cut him off.

“Nothing we do in this life is safe Jason.” Tim pointed out, “You’re too weak to jump us and we promised not to jump you. And we can keep away any humans that come for you.”

“We can keep _you_ safe.” Dick added.

“Will you let us stay?” Tim asked.

Jason tried to swallow around the emotions trying to choke him and simply nodded wordlessly.

“Tell us what you need from us, we’ll give it to you.” Dick said earnestly. Jason had to look away to force himself not to think all the explicit thoughts that brought to mind. They’d promised, and they were Bat’s.

Jason was safe.

In the days that followed one of them was always at his side taking care of him in shifts. Jason soon wished they’d leave him alone to die. Having a human so close always was agony. Still, he kept his hunger under tight lock and key. He still sometimes made one of them get hard when he was having difficult time but they all pretended it didn’t happen.

“Tim, what do we do?!” Dick hissed one day at last. Jason couldn’t seem to drag his heavy eyes open but he could still hear them whispering frantically over his head, “I can’t just watch him die like this!”

“What would you have us do?” Tim snapped back, “Even if he hadn’t, very firmly, withdrawn his consent before, he definitely can’t give it now.”

“I know,” Dick sounded stressed and upset, “I know and I could never- There’s got to be some be some way that’s actually ok. There’s got to.”

Tim was silent, Jason felt him touch Jason’s feverish forehead gently. Jason let out a soft sound and chased the human touch as long as he could.

“I… Have an idea.” Tim said slowly, uncertainly, “I don’t know if it will work, but it’s worth a shot at this point.”

“Anything.” Dick said. Jason didn’t get to hear the idea because he drifted into unconsciousness again.

* * *

 

Jason woke up with his head feeling clear in the first time in months. He spent a moment basking in the unusual feeling before the reality of the situation settled on him and he went stiff all over. He had been dying and there was only one reason he’d be feeling this good.

Someone had fed him.

The air stank of sex and Dick and Tim were passed out on either side of him, skin pressed right against him. It felt heady, like he was drunk. He’d forgotten what it felt like not not be in pain… the betrayal made him want to throw up. Or maybe break something. Or-

Fuck, he’d _trusted_ them. He’d fucking let them get close and he’d _trusted_ them and they’d- Fuck Jason didn’t remember anything he must have been unconscious the whole time this was so fucked up he couldn’t believe-

“Oh my god, you’re awake. Thank god it worked. Tim! Wake up, it worked!” Dick woke up sounding beyond relieved.

Jason couldn’t look at him couldn’t even- how could he _speak_ to him after they’d-

“I’m so glad it worked. I mean, I wasn’t sure because it wasn’t sex and all, but then it was like WHAPOW! And I figured it must be working I don’t think I’ve ever actually felt that high even when I _was_ high and then I was exhausted so I figured _something_ must have happened-”

“You didn’t… you better start fucking explaining yourselves real damn fast.” Jason said trying to breath steadily.

“It was my idea.” Tim said yawning, “I figured that incubi fed on sexual pleasure but that didn’t necessarily mean there had to be sex itself involved. We were losing you quickly so we decided to try it.”

“You… Like what, both laid down next to me and rubbed one out?” Jason frowned.

“Crude, but essentially, yes.” Tim said yawning again.

Jason tried to process that. It rang true. He’d been fed but he was definitely still hungry in a way that meant he’d only had a little. He was also deeply unsatisfied in a way that meant that he definitely hadn’t gotten any the night before. They were telling the truth.

Jason breathed out some of the tension that had been building in him. He still felt emotionally raw and jumpy but-

“Come home with me.” Dick said suddenly. Tim raised an eyebrow but didn’t look overly surprised. Jason on the other hand felt like he’d gone through whiplash.

“Are you insane?” Jason demanded.

“Only in the best ways.” Dick flashed him a grin before getting serious, “I know better than anyone that going back to the cave probably sounds like the worst thing ever right now.”

“You don’t know shit.” Jason said though he was still reeling.

“Maybe not,” Dick conceded, “But you don’t want to go back yet, right? So come home with me. At least until we figure something long term for all this. We could have, I don’t know, Porn Thursday's? Sit on the couch, eat junk food, watch hot people on screen, and so long as you’re touching me you can get fed at the same time. It’s kinda what I’d be doing anyways so you don’t need to feel like you’d be taking advantage.”

“I did not need to know that.” Tim said drly.

“As if you didn’t already, stalker.”

“I…” Jason swallowed around the anxiety building at the idea. He still didn’t really want to be alive as this monster, but he was also still pissed at Bruce. Spite was a powerful motivator. Plus, Dick and Tim clearly wouldn’t be letting him die anytime soon. Not from hunger anyway.

They were both looking at him, Dick expectantly and Tim with a sort of quiet understanding that made Jason immensely distrustful.

“This doesn’t fix shit.” He told them, “I’m still pissed at Bruce and I’m not going to pretend to be a good little boy just because you’ve decided you don’t want me to starve to death.”

“I don’t expect you to.” Dick said mouth tightening. The ‘but I’ll change your mind’ was silent but loud and clear nonetheless.

“Fine then. But if it starts looking bad or Batman starts trying to harass me then I’m out.” Jason said.

He could add a statement about Dick continuing not to sleep with him against his will but that would be already implied to these people. Drawing too much attention to it would only arouse suspicion and he didn’t want them revisiting how exactly it was that he’d survived all this time if he didn’t want to have sex.

“Deal.” Dick said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is about to get very interesting at the Grayson apartment. Neither of them fully understand what they're getting into. If I did another it'd be from Dick's perspective I think. They're going to run up against Jason's history sooner probably than later considering his survival depends on a regular confrontation with sex in at least some way. Especially because what they've got now is hardly a long term solution.


	2. Dick's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick had never considered himself sex crazed. He sure felt like it these days though. It was possibly had something to do with the Incubus trying to starve himself in his apartment. Possibly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to continue this but I couldn't leave Jason there and now there's a story

Dick doesn’t know what to do about Jason. On quite a few levels.

The Incubus has been living in his apartment for a couple weeks now and things weren’t getting any easier. For one, because sex was still very firmly off the table… which was kind of a problem because while Dick was eternally grateful that they’d found an unobtrusive way to feed Jason, it wasn’t nearly enough. It was the bare minimum of survival and it wasn’t sustainable. Jason needed frequent feedings this way and they never really addressed the hunger so much as temporarily put it off.

He’d still eventually die if this kept up.

Dick didn’t really understand why Jason decided having sex as an Incubus would be so bad. Because, like, he seemed like he wanted to often. And that was perfectly natural for him as an Incubus. But anytime Dick brought it up it was like running into a wall. He wondered if it was just that maybe Jason got the idea that being an Incubus made him a monster so anything related to that became automatically hateful? Possibly? It wasn’t like Jason talked to him about it even if Dick nagged.

He didn’t like pushing the subject at all because pressuring Jason into sex would be exactly as awful as it sounded. But he did want to start working on some kind of strategy, things that they could do to make it ok, or at least cultivating relationship that Jason would be comfortable in since he didn’t want to with Dick. Since this was a fact of Jason’s life now, it just made sense to try and figure something out. He didn’t want it to just creep up on them again and be this big scary life or death choice again.

Especially because he already knew which one Jason would choose in that kind of extreme scenario.

Another, less important, yet still rather high on the list of things on Dick mind was that the longer Jason lived in his apartment and refused a proper feeding, the more his presence affected Dick. It was uncomfortable, especially because Dick liked to think that he had pretty good self control about these things normally. But sometimes the arousal of being in the same room as Jason was practically crippling.

The arousal was never properly satisfied by anything Dick did either. If he went out and hooked up with someone and came back it didn’t make one spot of difference. The second he was in Jason’s presence he was rearing to go. Dick made sure to act casual and downplay it but he was pretty sure Jason could feel it. The only time it got better was if Jason was fed.

Long story short, Dick didn’t really know what to do.

“Hey, how you doing?” Asked Dick wandering into the living room with a bag of take out he’d gotten on his way home from work. He’d had to start picking it up after a few… incidences with delivery folks getting too close to Jason, getting sucked into his hunger, and trying to jump the panicking Incubus.

“Fine.” Jason said without looking up from his book. Well at least he was talking, though he sounded pissed.

The only questionably good thing that had come out of Jason refusing to feed was that he was too weak to go out on patrol so they hadn’t yet had to fight about his methods yet.

“That’s good. I got you some noodles. I know it doesn’t really do anything for you but it’s still yummy, right?” Dick offered him a box, “If not, I can always have it for lunch tomorrow.”

Jason slowly sat down his book and accepted the box. Dick noticed the slightest tremor in his hand and made note that he’d have togive him a proper feeding soon. For now, Dick was content to sprawl on the other couch and chatter at Jason about his day while they ate. It was kind of nice, he thought, to have someone there. Dick had always known he wasn’t really built for being all alone, but he’d gotten used to it anyway.

Having Jason there, no matter how little or much he contributed to conversations, filled some sort of gaping hole Dick hadn’t realized was growing in his life. He liked the simplicity of the togetherness they could sometimes share. He hoped perhaps as Jason became more comfortable with him, they could not only begin to heal some of the brokenness within their relationship- which had been there since Bruce gave Jason Dick’s name and costume without asking him, if Dick was honest- but also grow closer. Dick wanted-

He wanted to- he wanted so much, _wanted wanted wanted, please anything-_

Dick blinked rapidly as Jason regained control of his hunger and Dick could suddenly think again. Jason stayed turned away and continued to pretend nothing happened. Dick could see his hands shaking badly enough he was having trouble holding his chopsticks though.

Not waiting till later then.

“What do you want tonight?” Dick asked setting his remaining food down.

“Nothing.” Jason mumbled.

“Sorry, what do you _need_ tonight?” Dick corrected himself pointedly. Jason glared down at his noodles as if they’d personally insulted his mother. Dick prodded gently, “Shall we go with the usual then?”

“I guess…” Jason shrugged uncomfortably.

Dick refrained from sighing. This wasn’t going to be enough- _again_ \- but… If Jason wouldn’t go for more than there wasn’t much Dick could do about it. He hated just watching Jason waste away and hurt though.

But at least he could do this.

Dick settled on the ground next to Jason’s chair and reached his left hand out. Very hesitantly, Jason put his own hand in his. They’d figured out this method worked best when they’d found it was hard to keep their hands to themselves if they were pressed up against each other. It felt a little weird, and oddly intimate, but Dick didn’t dislike it.

Honestly, it should be weird and so uncomfortable for both of them for Dick to slide his free hand into his pants and just start stroking himself right there. But Jason’s hunger swells at the first touch and it made such emotions impossible. He couldn’t be self conscious or embarrassed or ashamed. There was just the raw _need_ rolling through him making his breath hitch and his body tremble.

Speeding up his touch makes the world tilt in interesting ways. Every sensation magnified by a 1000. It feels almost too intense. His muscles spasm a little and his body tries to twitch away like it will offer some relief but it doesn’t do anything. There’s no real escape from this feeling and Dick doesn’t want it anyway. He stops for a moment anyway though, mostly because he knows in his bones that Jason would flee if Dick started to tear up from the intensity of everything.

The momentary break in stimulation just makes Dick more conscious of the way not everything he’s feeling is from him. The sheer utter need and anguish at the sudden stop of pleasure. For Jason, because Dick still feels higher than a fricken kite. The sudden wave of panic not his own, like if he stops touching himself he might die. Dick doesn’t bother trying to separate himself from Jason’s emotions. Just tilts his head back and starts stroking himself again. Slowly. Teasingly. He knows the longer he can feed Jason the better.

So Dick lets himself be consumed by the waves of feeling. And by Jason, in a rather literal way he still finds funny in moments like this.

Dick smiles and rubs his face against Jason’s hand in an affectionate nuzzel. The feelings inside him spike, fall apart, and then surge again with more power. Jason’s grip on his hand is a bruising vice even as the other man shakes and shakes. Dick’s hand is getting so slick on his cock, but it’s honestly almost an afterthought to everything else. To that small point of contact with Jason.

He presses a absentminded kiss to his hand. Then nips, licks, and nuzzles it because he can’t help it. Because every increased contact makes his toes curls and his hips buck up desperately into his hand.

Dick’s legs feel hollow and useless as he gets eaten up. It’s a good thing they can’t support him because if they could, Dick thinks in a daze, he’d probably be trying to clamber up onto the couch with Jason and that would be bad. He can’t really remember why it would be bad, but he knows there’s a very good reason even though he can never think of it when Jason has him in this haze.

Jason would be so sweet under him if he did. He’s let Dick pull off his jeans and just bend him in half without a whisper of protest. Dick knows this and he doesn’t know how he knows this but it makes it hard to think of anything else. Just moan and buck desperately. The fantasies felt weird in his head. Off. Even as part of him was nodding distractedly because of course Jason should always be on someones cock being loved and fucked and fed till he was full.

Dick arched and came all over himself.

The rush of pleasure whited out his vision, so much more intense than he could manage on his own, especially with just a half assed hand job. And the feeling kept going for so much longer. Just on and on like he was being wrung dry.

Because he was.

Just when Dick was starting to get seriously light headed, Jason let go of his hand. Dick watched it fall limply to his side feeling detached from everything. There was nothing in his head, not really, just little aftershocks of the intense feeling every few seconds. Dick lay slumped against the couch for he didn’t even know how many minutes just heaving breath after breath staring blankly into space without really seeing anything.

Eventually, in little tiny bits, Dick came back to himself. He tried to move his hand but his fingers only twitched. So Dick took the time to process that last feeding session with a clearer mind like he always did once he could actually think again.

It was getting more intense. Almost as bad as that first time he’d fed him and then he’d been able to share the burden with Tim. More so in other ways because Jason was awake to want things. Dick grimaced as he parsed through some of the thoughts that had crossed his mind during that. He hated that he tended to lose his sense of self enough while Jason was feeding to not care about the fact that sex was still a no. He could understand some of Jason’s fear at times like this because he would never be able to forgive himself if he crossed that line.

He also didn’t really know what to do with those fantasies. Because the thing was… they weren’t Dick’s fantasies. When Dick slept with guys, he usually prefered to bottom. Never once had he thought fucking Jason as opposed to occasionally wondering about being fucked by him. In fact, picturing Jason getting at all fucked was a little weird to wrap his head around. Yet he’d thought about it in explicit detail only a few minutes ago. With reverse sensation as well.

Because Jason was the one who was apparently thinking about it all the time. Wanting it.  And Dick honestly wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

First thing was first though. Dick finally managed to lift hand and grab some tissues to clean himself up and tuck himself back into his pants. Then he patted the couch to get Jason’s attention. Jason who had been a coil of tension and self loathing since the moment they’d stopped.

“Come down here, will you? I’m too tired to climb on the couch.” Dick grumbled. Jason hesitated a moment before scrambling to comply. He grabbed his drink as well and Dick didn’t hadn’t even realized how thirsty he was till Jason was guiding the straw to him mouth. It made him feel a bit like an invalid, but mostly he was just grateful as he gulped down the drink. It wasn’t like he’d regained enough feeling in his fingers yet to reliably be trusted to hold a cup yet, “Thanks.”

Jason didn’t look reassured by the smile he flashed him. Just set the drink down and stared at him hard.

“Did you pass out?” Jason asked, stress straining his voice, “It looked like you passed out.”

“Nah,” Dick waved the worry away weakly, “Just post orgasmic bliss and all that.”

“That’s not how it supposed to be normally.” Jason’s frown lines deepen.

“It’s a little bit more intense with you, as always.” Dick shrugged, “But you know that.”

“You usually shake it off after a minute,” Jason pointed out shortly, glaring at him worriedly and touching his forehead to check for fever, “It’s getting longer every time.”

“So?” Dick asked batting away his hands.

“You need to stop feeding me so frequently,” Jason insisted.

“Can you handle me feeding you less frequently?” Dick asked raising an eyebrow.

Jason didn’t say anything for a long moment. They both knew why: Jason _could_ go longer without eating if he actually had a proper meal. As it was... he really ought to be fed  _more_ frequently, not less. 

“If I gotta then I gotta.” Jason said at last.

“You mean you’ll let yourself starve. Then _you’ll_ be the one passing out all the time.” Dick rolled his eyes, “Yeah, no, that’s not gonna fly.”

“You’re- you can’t hurt yourself for me. I won’t let you.” Jason looked stubborn and a little freaked.

“Jason, if I go take a nap I’ll seriously be fine. You know I will.” Dick gave him a look.

“But maybe you won’t always be.” Jason pushed.

“ _Maybe_ if that looks like it’s true then we’ll figure something out.” Dick said pointedly, “But for now I’m fine.”

Jason muttered several unflattering things under his breath.

“Now if you’re quite done being paranoid, can you pass me my food? We’ve got a movie to finish.” Dick said. Jason glared at him incredulously for a moment before grumbling and doing so.

Then tension in the air had mostly dissipated since Jason had been fed and Dick let himself lean against him. Jason always tensed up like maybe Dick had zapped him with his escrima stick at first when he did that, but also always relaxed into after a bit. He knew _Jason_ \- not the part of him that was an incubus- desperately needed touches that were safe and absent of all sexual intent and Dick tried to give them whenever Jason would let him.

Jason was right that Dick’s dizziness was taking much longer to fade these days, but it wasn’t yet to problematic levels so he refused to cut back on feeding Jason. He really would be cured by a nap and a snack. Hopefully they’d figure out a better solution for the situation before anything came of it.

But that was a problem for another day. For now, Dick let himself doze off against Jason’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide who's POV the next chapter should be in. Dick, Jason, or Tim's...
> 
> Come bother me on [Tumblr!](https://wellthatjusthappend.tumblr.com/)


	3. Dick's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First things first. Dick realizes he needs to help himself before he can help Jay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They fix somethings and make some things worse.

When something gets fucked up, you have to change something that you’re doing to try and  _ fix it _ otherwise nothing will ever get better. Hope didn’t come from just sitting and  _ wishing _ things would change for you. And Dick had never been good at giving up hope. 

“Dick!” Zatanna stood up in surprise, “I didn’t know you were coming by! Is everything alright?”

“Aw Z, can’t I just come by to see you?” Dick flashed her a charming smile.

“You could,” Zatanna said narrowing her eyes, “But you don’t. What happen- holy-! Dick, you smell like a demon!”

“Erm, yeah, about that…” Dick laughed nervously. 

“I thought your life energy looked weirdly dim when you came in… sit! I’ll get you some replenishing tea.” Zatanna shoved Dick unceremoniously into a chair and searching through cupboards and drawers, “I know I have something around here...”

“Thanks Z, but that’s really not why I came here.” Dick said weakly. 

“No, I imagine it’s not.” sighed Zatanna pausing, “I suppose you need me to come kill the thing? Exorcise it? What kind of demon are we talking about?”

“None of that actually.” Dick said hurriedly, “The demon is actually very nice and I need to help it-”

Zatanna narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Looked him over with a more careful eye and leaned in close and breathed… and immediately pulled a disgusted face. 

“Really Dick? A sex demon? I suppose it make sense since it’s you-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dick said a little offended. 

“Incubus or Succubus?” 

“Incubus, but-”

“ _ Really? _ ” Zatanna flushed a little obviously picturing it.

“Z!”

“Okay, you’re right that’s not hot it’s fucked up. They obviously have you under their spell.” Zatanna said narrowly, “I probably have a charm in the back that should break their influence…”

“Oh good, because that’s what I came here for.” Dick said smiling in relief, “I knew I could count on you.”

“What?” Zatanna blinked.

“Really Z, I’m only affected if I’m in the same room as them.” Dick gave her a look, “I’m perfectly sane right now. Or as sane as I ever am.”

“Oh, he must be a very weak Incubus then.” Zatanna frowned, “If fact, that probably means he’s close to dead.”

“Really?” Dick said feeling cold with fear. 

“That’s good for us, it means that he’ll be easy to take down.” Zatanna said nodding to herself.

“No!” Dick said fiercely sitting up.

“You-” Zatanna said looking surprised.

“We are  _ not _ hurting him. Not ever. Do you understand me?” Dick glared.

“Oh Dick, I know you have a bleeding heart for just about anybody, but this a  _ demon.  _ He may look like a human, talk like a human,  _ fuck _ like a human but he’s not. These demons are all the same Dick. And they’re extra dangerous when they’re dying. He may have given you some sob story that makes you think you need to let him fuck you to save his life or whatever but don’t believe him. Given half the chance he will rape you and kill you.” Zatanna said seriously.

“Not this one.” Dick promised. 

“Dick… that’s what incubi  _ do _ .” Zatanna said with pitying eyes.

“No.” Dick said firmly, “I know it’s like that normally, but you’re wrong about this one. I  _ know _ him. He won’t even have sex with anyone because he doesn’t want to do it without their consent-”

“And that’s why you need the charms?” Zatanna said angrily, “He’s lying to you Dick. Unless he was literally born yesterday he’s fed in the past and he’s obviously lived with himself.”

And that- Dick had never really thought about that but it was sort of true. Jason must have fed on  _ someone _ at some point. In fact he’d  _ told _ them he had at one point before he came back to Gotham… But Zatanna was still wrong: Jason  _ wasn’t  _ really living with himself. He’d let himself starve to death if Dick would allow it. Which he never would. 

“He’s not- you don’t understand Z. I knew him before he was a demon and he’s still that person. He’s still  _ good _ . I just need the charms to be able to talk to him without getting all… y’know.” Dick sighed. 

“Someone is turning humans into demons?” Zatanna asked in alarm, “How is that even possible?”

“We don’t know.” grimaced Dick, “But we think he was only the first. Batman is looking into it. I’m sure he would appreciate your help though.”

“Right. Because he’s  _ so _ willing for other people to help with his cases.” sighed Zatanna standing and rummaging through a drawer at her desk, “Here they are.”

“Are those…?” Dick said moving closer.

“These will protect you from the Incubus.” Zatanna said motioning Dick to come all the way over.

“How do they work?” asked Dick.

“The yellow one will keep you from falling under it’s spell.” Zatanna said snapping a silver cuff with a yellow stone onto his left wrist, “And the green one will keep it from feeding on you.”

“Thank you.” Dick said earnestly.

“Dick, I really hope this is intuitive for you, but don’t let it feed on you. The cuffs will block it’s supernatural powers but it can still seduce you.” Zatanna warned looking worried.

“I’ll be fine.” Dick promised instead. Because, really, the whole point of this would be so he could hopefully feed Jason better. 

“I still think I should come with you…” Zatanna frowned.

“Talk to Bruce. I’m sure there is a way you can help.” Dick smiled at her reassuringly. 

Zatanna sighed and just hugged him goodbye. 

Dick walked out wondering if he really should take Zatanna to Jason. If you had asked him before he came here he would have said absolutely. That he trusted Zatanna with his life. And he still did. He just wasn’t sure now if he trusted her with  _ Jason’s _ life. Her reaction against demon’s was strong enough that Dick worried about having her anywhere near the Incubus. 

He was grateful for the cuffs though. It felt wonderful to walk into his own apartment and feel steady and in control of himself. Hopefully with this Jason would stop worrying about crossing some line with him and Dick could properly feed him. Zatanna said the level of weakness of his influence meant that Jason was dying. Dick had known that, but it still raised his sense of urgency to hear a professional say it with such certainty.

Dick found Jason dozing in a chair dragged close to the window. He was incredible pale, though his cheeks were slightly flushed. Dick didn’t think the fever had come yet since he had fed Jason the previous night, but it would soon. 

Dick brushed his curls back from his forehead fondly-

And had to quickly dodge as Jason came up swinging. 

“Jesus- Little Wing-” Dick started, and pulled up short at the raw panic on Jason’s face… which he quickly composed when he recognized Dick. 

“Sorry, I thought you might be- never mind.” Jason shook his head before suddenly stiffening.

“Jay?” Dick asked cautiously.

“Why can’t I feel you?” Jason demanded looking alarmed and suspicious as hell.

“Don’t worry, it’s just these.” Dick showed the other his wrists, “I visited Zatanna today and picked them up. This way you can’t influence me into anything. And if I take off this one then you can still feed.”

“Oh.” and Dick had expected Jason to be relieved but if anything his face closed off even more. 

“Jay?” asked Dick, “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy. You were so worried about taking away my will…”

“I am happy.” Jason growled looking a bit… sick? “I just… does this mean you wanna… right now?”

“We could wait till later…?” Dick offered uncertainly.

“Later.” Jason said quickly looking immensely relieved, “Later is good.”

“Ok…” Dick said trying to shake off his curiosity and worry, “We can feed you after lunch. Till then, wanna tell me about the book you’ve been reading? I honestly haven’t got through like half of the ones on my shelf.”

“Sure.” Jason shrugged though he looked suddenly exhausted. 

“Or you could finish your nap?” Dick raised his eyebrows, “Sorry, I didn’t really think about interrupting you. I figured you’d want to feed as soon as you could.”

“I won’t be able to sleep with you here.” Jason said crossly ignoring everything else he said. 

“I’ll keep my cuffs on.” Dick assured him, “And I’ll be quiet, I won’t distract you.”

“I’ll know you’re here though.” Jason said giving him a look.

“You could nap in my room and shut the door if you like? I can go out to get food and let you sleep?” Dick said. 

Jason was very quiet for a long while starting at the floor before nodding. 

“Alright then.” Dick said moving to give him space. It was weird, with the cuffs on he didn’t has clear of picture of how hungry Jason was. But on the other hand he was aware of so many more nuances now that he wasn’t so distracted. 

Dick heard the lock of his room click shut. He frowned, it wasn’t like Jason’s didn’t know he could pick a lock quickly and easily. It was probably similar to the way Dick didn’t like dosing in airports and letting his guard down in public places. Probably. He wondered if he was allowed to ask. 

Knowing Jason, probably not yet.

Instead Dick busied himself doing so research for a case he had open. He’d clean up a little, but actually since living here Jason had been doing most of the cleaning. Something about not tolerating living in a pigsty. Which was obviously an over exaggeration even if Tim agreed with Jason. Dick wasn’t  _ that _ messy.

Dick had a late lunch at an Indian Food place not far from his house. He chatted with the staff and learned about a landlord that was overtaxing several restaurants in the area and taking bigger and bigger cuts of their profits. Huh. Nightwing would probably have to pay the guy a visit. On the way back he took the long route through the park. Took a little time brushing his teeth thoroughly when he got back to the apartment. 

He still second guessed himself a little, twisting the cuffs around his hands as he knocked on the bedroom door.

“You can come in.” Jason called and Dick realized the door had been unlocked for him.

He pushed his way inside smiling sheepishly.

“You don’t have to knock, it’s you’re own damn room.” muttered Jason sitting tense and watchful in the middle of the bed.

“Yeah, but it’s still polite.” Dick shrugged and casually plopped onto the mattress. 

Jason was watching him like Dick was some kind of predator.

“You sure you’re alright with this?” Dick frowned.

“It’s fine.” Jason closed his expression off.

“Because if ever wasn’t fine, y’know hypothetically, then I’d never push it.” Dick said slowly.

“It’s f-” Jason blew out a breath, “It’ll be fine. I know I’ll get over myself as soon as we start.”

“I don’t really want you to need to force yourself to-”

“I’m not forcing myself.” Jason snapped laying down and starting to work at the buttons on his pants even as as everything else about his body language remained closed off.

“Jay.” Dick stopped him.

“It’s fine-” Jason cut himself off with a little growl, “Look, it’s like you all said. I’m an Incubus and I need this. So can we just… hurry up?”

Dick frowned. That still wasn’t quite how it was supposed to be but-

Jason turned to look at him and his expression was determined.

Dick breathed deeply and focused. This was Jason. The person who he loved deeply. That needed Dick to want him. Truthfully, that part was easy. Jason had always been beautiful and he was even more so now. Big and hard with sharp lines and bright eyes... Dick carefully set the green cuff on the bedside table. The moment it clicked open Jason shivered hard and turned away. 

“Jay?” Dick asked settling himself alongside Jason on the bed.

“You said that cuff kept me from influencing you.” Jason growled looking betrayed. 

“It does.” Dick blinked.

“Liar.” Jason hissed looking harassed, “I can still feel you… still feel you wanting me.”

“Jason, I don’t need any extra help with that.” Dick admitted with a rueful smile. 

Jason made a small wounded sound and clutched at the sheets. His eyes searched Dick’s face, obviously looking for a lie. His expression was suspicious and defensively aggressive. Dick carefully untangled one of Jason’s hands and brought it up to press a chaste kiss to the back of it. There was a sharp lurch in his gut and his mouth tingled like he had just eaten something spicy. Dick looked up at Jason through his lashes and took in the way the other’s face had hazed over with hunger.

There was still a tinge of what looked like anxiety that gave Dick pause but it seemed small enough. 

“Is it truly unthinkable that I’d want you Little Wing?” Dick raised an eyebrow.

“You can’t- you just pity me because I’m a monster.” Jason accused, “You just- If I was normal you’d never look at me twice.”

“It would be different if you weren’t an Incubus, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want you. I just might like to take you out on a couple of dates before we jumped into bed together normally.” Dick admitted.

“I don’t think that would’ve worked that way before.” Jason frowned, still looking unconvinced.

“Maybe not.” Admitted Dick, “But we can still date now if you like? We still have to feed you somehow, but I’m not picky how. And then we can take everything else as slow as we want.”

“You’d want that?” Jason said cautiously.

“This friends with benefits things is fine, but yeah. I’d like to know if we could be more. I like  _ you _ .” Dick flashed a smile.

Jason now looked a little hungry in a different way. Dick couldn’t say he didn’t totally understand. 

“Can I kiss you?” Dick asked.

“I-” Jason shivered a little and the uncertainty was back, but he looked like he was stealing himself, “Yeah, alright.”

Dick knew he was beaming but he couldn’t help it. He cupped Jason’s face gently and tilted it to press their mouths together. Jason immediately made a hungry little growl and arched to press himself against Dick hard, the flinched back almost immediately, then pressed back almost desperately. 

Carefully, Dick took charge of the kiss, guiding Jason’s mouth against his as he realized Jason was clumsy with a little more than just hunger: Inexperience. And not just with kissing, Dick realized at the way Jason couldn’t seem to figure out how to hold him, at the small little bucks of his hips as if the motions were being surprised right out of him. And actually, while Dick could remember Jason flirting happily with just about anyone as Robin, he couldn’t actually remember him being in any kind of real relationship. He wondered if that meant Jason’s first time was after he’d been changed into an Incubus.

The thought sent a pang of unease through him in ways he’d examine more closely later. 

“Easy…” Dick kissed the corner of his mouth and rolled them dragging Jason on top of him. Jason was bigger and heavier than Dick so this would actually work better if their positions were reverse. But somehow Dick knew in his bones that putting Jason on his back for this would be a terrible idea. There was enough uncertainty still in his movements that Dick felt like it was important that Jason could pull away at anytime. 

He wondered how much of these mixed signals he’d been missing before when his mind had been taken over by the haze of being close to Jason. 

There were other things that haze had apparently been blocking, Dick realized with gritted teeth. Feeding… was not as painless as he’d previously thought it to be. He must have been numb to the sensations before. It was like someone had put a hook somewhere in his core (or maybe his  _ soul _ ) and was pulling on it  _ hard. _ He was still capable of ignoring  it though and focus on the feeling of Jason bucking a bit helplessly into his thigh.

“Here…” Dick said smiling a bit breathlessly and readjusting their hips so they would be lined up, “Like this Little Wing.”

“Fuck-! Dick, I-!” Jason growled and ground down against him making Dick gasp and Jason shudder even harder at the double feedback. 

“Yeah… Like that…” Dick groaned and tipped his head back. They really hadn’t managed to get out of their clothes for this one and Dick didn’t think that was going to change at this point. He caught Jason’s hands and dragged them under his shirt instead knowing the more Jason was touching him-

Ow. Fuck,  _ ow, _ Jason was taking a lot from him and Dick was aware for the first time he didn’t have all that much to give. He should probably warn-

“Dick…” Jason whimpered and pressed his face against Dick’s neck, “God it feels so… help me-”

“I’ve got you Little Wing,” Dick promised  and focused instead on the man shaking in his arms, “It’s okay, you can let go for me. I’ve got you. You feel so good.”

“I can’t- I don’t know-” Jason shook his head, his curls tickling Dick’s skin, “ _ Please _ -”

“You’re so good, Jay,  _ just _ like that.” Dick groaned as the sensations built higher and higher. 

“You- so much better than any of them- I didn’t thin- Dick, don’t let go-” and then Jason was kissing him feaverish and clumsy and Dick was smiling and kissing him back. Giddy and happy in ways he always was when he was with a lover he really cared about. 

He spread his legs a little more so Jason could press them together even better. Kissed him and kissed him until Jason was crying out against his mouth and shaking as his came. Still pressing and clutching at Dick because in a feeding situation what mattered was more how Dick- and it was hurting more and more as the pleasure mounted and Dick was abruptly aware that this was going to be too much. They needed to stop this right now- needed to warn Jason- but he couldn’t do anything but moan and clutch as as he came hard-

And…

Black.

And more black.

And…

…

…

…

* * *

 

Tim was in the process of taking off his school uniform and thinking about what pre-patrol workout he was going to do when his com went off with the special emergency tone he’d set for Dick.

“Nightwing, what-”

_ “Tim.” _

“Jason?” Tim blinked in surprise.

_ “Get Bruce. You’ve gotta come here  _ **_now_ ** _ -” _

“Jason, slow down, what’s going on?” Tim said already running for the cave stairs.

_ “Dick, he- I think I hurt him. I didn’t mean to- he seemed like he was fine and then he just-” _

“Stay right with him, we’ll be there soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last one and it's from Jason's POV! 
> 
> Heads up, I'm going to be working overtime a lot in the next couple months so I don't know what my energy levels are going to be like in terms of writing. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon since it's the last one but no promises. I might keep posting something every week or I might disappear off the face of the earth for a month or so before I resurface. We'll see.


	4. Jason's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Careful, lots of angst and Jason struggling with his more suicidal desires.

Jason squeezed his eyes closed against the memories. Against-

_ “How dare you- how  _ **_dare_ ** _ you wear that form and come after Dick! You sick, twisted demon-” _

_ “Zatanna no! It’s really Jason! Don’t kill him!” _

He was angry at Tim for getting in the way. Angry at himself for taking Dick at his word all those times after a feeding when he knew Dick was getting weaker and weaker. He thought he was being careful. Instead he’d bought into the delusion Dick had built: he’d begun to think that one day it might be okay to be with Dick. He’d just- Dick had been telling him over and over that it was alright. He even seemed to have convinced himself that he wanted Jason even without the influence of his powers. Perhaps it was an addiction? Jason wouldn’t be surprised. Even so, Dick had felt so solid, and sure, and unwaveringly safe. He was undemanding, yet compelling enough that Jason had felt himself eased despite himself. 

Dick asked if he wanted to go on dates. Like they could be a fucking couple not some fucked up version of predator and overly-willing prey. 

Honestly, Jason wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. The idea of dates was almost too unreal… too warm and enticing when everything else was jagged and anxious. Not to mention he was certain Dick had only offered to date because he wanted Jason to be more open to having sex. He’d probably gotten tired of having to coax until Jason fed the absolute minimum. It was emotional seduction, Jason was sure of it. Dick just had all these ideas about how he had to “save” Jason and decided to use his own body to do so. A damn hero. A fucking martyr nobody asked for. Jason didn’t really want to be saved, and he certainly didn’t want Dick sacrificing himself to do so. 

A little late for that.

Never again, Jason promised himself. He’d thought being force fed by strangers was awful, but it was nothing compared to accidentally hurting someone he cared about. He’d never feed on Dick again, he couldn’t risk it. Even if… well, Jason wasn’t sure some days he would want sex with anyone. Ever. But Dick had begun to make him think that if it had to be with someone, it might be okay if it were with Dick. 

That was all down the drain now though.

Nobody had… nobody had  _ told _ Jason that it might not be safe for the people he was feeding on. If he’d known, he’d never had let Dick feed him a second time. 

Jason had told himself that over and over as he’d watched Tim redirect Zatanna’s attention to Dick who was still lying far too still and pale on the bed. He’d wanted them to reassure him that Dick would be alright, but he hadn’t gotten the chance because Bruce had swooped in and removed Jason from the apartment entirely. Bruce had taken him to a satellite cave in  Blüdhaven . He hadn’t spoken a word until Jason was carefully locked on the other side of a metahuman proof containment cell. Everything from their last encounter of Red Hood and Batman stood between them like a physical crackling tension. The fact that Bruce had seen it necessary to take Jason away from the people he cared about stood like an accusation of Jason’s guilt between them: you are toxic, dangerous, bad, and should be kept away from good people. Or at least that was how Jason interpreted it. He wasn’t sure Bruce was wrong either.

Of course that didn’t mean Jason couldn’t hate him for how Bruce made him feel. 

Bruce had stayed firmly on the other side of the reinforced glass and evaluated Jason like criminal from behind the cowl. Jason hadn’t missed the fact that he was extra armored. He’d wanted to snarl that he’d just fed and that was half the reason why they were there at all. But then maybe they would’ve had to talk about what had happened last time they’d seen each other. How Jason now knew what Bruce’s hands felt like on his body when he desired him. Knew what his mouth tasted like… Jason had never wanted to know those sorts of things about his former mentor. Just as he hadn’t really wanted to know that Bruce had never loved him enough as his partner to avenge him when he’d been murdered. 

Jason had thought the history that was between them was going to be the worst part of the encounter. He was wrong: the interrogation was a lot worse. Dick had handled the questions before, and he was pretty casual about it even if Jason had known he was sending Bruce reports. He’d forgotten what it was like to be on the receiving end of Bruce’s full attention when he was after some bit of information.  

He’d demanded to know everything he and Dick had done and how often they’d done it; how Dick had reacted before, after, and during; how Jason felt when he was hungry and what things he could pick up when he was feeding. It’d made Jason feel dirty and a little sick. He didn’t even know how he felt about most that stuff, and he really hadn’t wanted to talk to Bruce about any of it. Dick had been hurt though by the feedings so Jason knew Bruce was trying to get as much info as he could help his favorite ward. Jason wasn’t petty enough to withhold information that might help Dick even if he hated talking about that shit. 

Then Bruce had begun asking about the others who’d come before. Dick had never really asked; Jason had projected his discomfort whenever he’d started to ask about his time with Talia so Dick had let it be. Figures that Bruce wouldn’t. That had been both harder and easier to talk about. Easier, because he hadn’t known any other them besides Talia and it had all been fairly straightforward and repetitive; Events that had bled together into a haze of sensation: hungry hands and slick bodies and the bite of the bindings on his wrists. On the other hand, it was harder because he still tripped of everything that had happened in his own mind sometimes to the point that he just generally tried not to think or care about it all that much. Except when he couldn’t help it. 

Bruce had been aggressive and intense when he’d first brought Jason there, but he’d steadily become more and more tense and closed-off with every answer that Jason had given. 

There’d been quiet when Jason had finished. The kind of quiet that made Jason want to go back over everything he’d said, how it might have sounded, what things Bruce might assume, the kinds of conclusions he might be drawing… It’d also made him kind of want to shoot himself in the head (for all the good that would do his demon ass). Or maybe he should’ve just shot Bruce, that could’ve helped too. 

Bad dreams were harder to deny when spoken out loud. 

When Jason had to think too deeply about the kind of monster he’d been turned into what sort of reality that had entailed so far...What sort of prospects he- and everyone he fucking came in contact with- had to look forward to… Well, he always returned to the fact that it would be better for everyone if he was no longer in the world. There was no life left anyway. And no hope for anything but  _ more _ of all of this and possibly  _ worse _ .

“Jason…” Bruce started. Stopped. His mouth tugged downward for a moment before his expression carefully blanked again right before he turned away, “I will send someone as soon as it’s safe.”

Because Jason wasn’t safe: Gotta protect people from him and all that. 

“Whatever.” Jason grumbled and looked resolutely away until he was sure he was alone again. He breathed slowly and deeply, trying to quell the sharp and boiling feeling that was just-

Jason struck out sharply at the container when he couldn’t contain the feeling anymore. Despite the fact that it had been made to hold superhumans, the surface cracked badly. Apparently it wasn’t reinforced enough for  _ demons _ . Still, he was acutely aware of the fact that yesterday he wouldn’t have been able to even stand this long much less dent his container. The difference was that he’d had a direct feeding for the first time since- well, anyway, it just brought up a sense of anxiousness about Dick. 

The crack in the containment stood out like accusation.

But with it came a realization; there was nothing keeping him here. He had already proven to be a danger to friends and foes alike. But once Bruce returned there’d be more. There’d be more more more because they couldn’t just- they’d bend over backwards to make sure he kept feeding, kept  _ surviving _ . And Jason couldn’t let them do that. Because there was no  _ life _ in this kind of survival.

Hadn’t Jason known from the start? It was only a matter of time before he did something unforgivable. 

Jason spun and released a little burst of power as he kicked over the crack. This time, the container burst apart on impact… along with anything else in the path of energy. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that Jason wasn’t sticking around to be caught in one of Bruce’s plans. 

He took the stairs at a run. There was security, but none of it could truly hurt or subdue Jason anymore. It was dusk outside. Jason thought about grabbing a cab, but decided he wanted whatever path would bring him into as little contact with humans as possible. Dick had showed him where the camera’s were in this city when he tried to get him to take interest in some of the cases that he’d been working on. Jason knew how to keep out of view one way or another.

“How can I help you, sir-?” The hotel receptionist smiled uncertainly when he entered the hole in the wall establishment. 

“I need a room.” Jason snapped. He didn’t actually have any money but... All he knew was that so far any human he came in contact with seemed to be unable to resist bending over backwards to do whatever he wanted if he didn’t shield them. He let some of the force of his influence hit the receptionist. Watched their expression go dazed and hungry. 

“Yes. Yeah, sure. Whatever you want.” they said eagerly grabbing a card. Their eyes were suddenly blown and their face flushed… fingers shaking and so uncoordinated they almost dropped the card several times. Jason frowned at them. When they tried to hand it to him they also tried to grab at him hungrily- to touch him in some way. Jason snatched the card and danced out of reach. 

“Please, please, I  _ need _ …” they whimpered and tried to come around the desk.

“Stay where you are.” Jason ordered backing away fast. The receptionist froze and seemed to shake even more intensely.

“ _ Please _ …” They whimpered helplessly. Jason hated himself. 

“Go back to work like normal.” Jason told them, “Forget you saw me.”

“Yes, I will! Just please-” Jason quickly left. As soon as he was out of range the receptionist should snap out of it… He’d check to make sure they had later. 

He got to his little room and locked everything behind him and proceeded close the curtains as well. When there was nothing but stillness left, Jason slid to the ground in the corner. There was a nice comfy bed right there but… no. Definitely not. 

Zatanna would be with Dick, he reassured himself. Surely Dick would be alright. Jason closed his eyes and rubbed anxiously at his knee. He could still feel… that thrum, that fire, that bliss everywhere he’d touched Dick. Blue eyes staring up at him. Determined. Bright. His life humming under Jason’s fingers- and then  _ in _ Jason. He’d felt it rushing into him with every kiss. The way it soothed the pain in his body and slowly eased his hunger bit by bit. He’d felt that light coming from dick getting dimmer and dimmer but he hadn’t realized what it meant. But he should have. He should have- he should never have-!

Jason scrubbed a hand through his hair and took a shuddering breath. Clenched his fists so hard they hurt and tried to steady himself.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t… wondered, why Talia never had the same person feed him twice. Though at the time he’d kind of thought it might have been to avoid him forming emotional attachments to anyone or some other League of Assassins bullshit.  He hadn’t thought it was because he might hurt them. Had he hurt any of them? He wanted check and make sure (assuming he could even find any of them) but also never see any of them ever again. It was probably fine, Jason told himself. After all, Talia had been fine… but of course Dick hadn’t been. And it wasn’t just that last time. Dick had dozed off (passed out Jason now worried) after feedings fairly regularly. Even Tim had seemed tired. 

The fact that he had no idea if there would be side effects for any of the people he’d fed on scared Jason. He’d never considered it before even with all his fears about feeding. But of course there were consequences. Of fucking course- he was demon now. He should have known only harm could come to humans he came into contact with. 

Not anymore, Jason decided. As soon as he could he was going to do what he always should have: hunted down a magical object strong enough to kill him.

So absorbed was he in his thoughts that Jason didn’t realize right away there was a shift of something in the air. A sudden presence- Jason stiffed, but it was too late: a demon sigil glowed to life beneath him trapping him in place. 

“Fuck-!” Jason snarled.

“Easy, I’m not here to harm you. I just have to make sure you won’t attack us while we talk to you.” Said a pale and proper looking man stepping out of pure shadows. Jason’s nostrils flared, instincts telling him what he already expected: human and demon wound together in one form. His face nagged at Jason’s memory and it only took a moment to place a name to it: Jason Blood.

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” Jason snapped.

“No, but I do.” Tim said clambering through the window. 

“Go away, replacement.” Jason snapped. 

“Thank you for leading me here.” Tim said politely to Blood, “It would have taken me a lot longer to find him with everyone focused on Dick.”

“It is a pleasure as always to serve the Wayne’s.” Blood inclined his head.

“Fuck you,” Jason spat at them trying to struggle in his bonds and getting approximately nowhere. Unlike the metahuman container, this was  _ made _ especially to hold someone like him, “Fuck you both.”

“I’d rather not.” Said Tim giving him a look, “And honestly I don’t think you really do either. Which is why we’re here. Mr. Blood?”

“Wait, fuck, what are you doing?” Jason demanded. He wanted to struggle but couldn’t move, couldn’t even thrash around.

“This is going to hurt a bit,” Blood apologised as he extended glowing hands.

Jason might have screamed. He wasn’t sure. Everything kind of whited out and disappeared in the wake of the intense pain that ripped through him. He realized eventually that he was flat on his back heaving pained breaths and staring unseeingly at the ceiling. The sigil was removed from underneath him, but there with three freshly glowing marks burned onto his chest. 

The world felt muted. His body heavy and unwieldy. He could no longer sense Tim’s humanity in the room. Or anyone else near by. 

“What did you do to me?” Jason croaked. 

“I put some limits on your demonic nature. Some we’ll remove later, though most I think you’ll want to keep.” Blood said stepping back. 

“This will make it so you don’t have to feed anymore if you don’t want to.” Tim told him eagerly, “The marks will dip into the life energy that’s constantly flowing through the world and feed it to you when you need it. You never have to worry about taking too much again.”

“You…” Jason’s face twisted.

“You can come home,” Tim insisted kneeling next to him, “Dick’s alright you know, you can-”

Jason took a swipe at the boy that Tim barely was able to duck away from.

“I don’t want your fucking help.” Jason yelled at his replacement, “Who gave you the right? Get away from me-!”

“Jason, we’re all worried about-” Tim said, his expression hardening and his chin starting to tilt up stubbornly.

“Perhaps I should field this one,” Blood said gently laying a hand on Tim’s shoulder, “You go report to Bruce. I’ll send him when we’re done.” 

“No you fucking won’t!” Jason snapped sitting up and breathing through the new pain on his chest.

“I don’t think-” Tim began with a frown.

“We have a lot in common. There’s lot’s we can discuss.” Blood reminded him, “I am, after all, his keeper till he can be trusted with his powers again.”

“Alright.” Tim conceded reluctantly as Jason spat a string of expletives that still didn’t come close to illustrating how he felt about the situation. Tim turned back to Jason hesitantly, “I… know you hate me. For a lot of reasons. But I still hope we can one work together as allies.”

Jason glowered at him.

“Right.” Tim grimaced, “I guess till next time?”

The two of them watched him crawl back out the window. Jason kind of wanted to make a dash for it, but he knew that Blood would catch him before he made it a foot. Blood came to crouch across from him with a sympathetic expression that Jason immediately hated. 

“It’s frustrating, isn’t it?” Blood noted guesting at Jason. When Jason only glared at him he elaborated, “You suddenly have the ability to do everything you wanted, and you can’t help but be pissed off by it.”

“You don’t know shit about me.” Jason spat.

“Perhaps not,” Blood conceded, “But I do know that you have had many important choices taken away from you. And now this: just another thing forced on you but now you’re supposed to see it as a ‘gift’. But to you, it’s just something else you have to somehow live with. I wonder if your demonic nature could ever been seen as a gift by you because of the way it has been used to harm in the past. Perhaps with time.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Jason squeezed his eyes closed. HE didn’t know if he should cover his ears or just punch the demon in front of him. Both felt childish, and maybe like they’d give too much away. Not that he knew what he was supposed to be hiding at this point when they all seemed to fucking  _ know _ .

“Bruce Wayne has asked me to ‘take care of you’ for the time being. That could have many meanings. And even if it didn’t, he still refuses to command me with blood, so I am not bound by his request.” Blood noted.

“You-” Jason cut himself off as that sunk in and then narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “What are you playing?”

“I know what it is to be trapped in the same body as a demon and to harm those I care for because of it,” Blood smiled sharply, “Bruce may never forgive me, but if you  _ truly _ wish it of me, I will release from this life.”

“What?” Jason said, his stomach lurching abruptly. 

“That is what you were planning when you ran away, isn’t it?” Blood said raising an eyebrow. It wasn’t really a question.

“I…” Jason looked away and then back frowning, “How can you say that?”

“I will not condemn you to this life when I know more than anyone what it will cost you.” Blood said looking at him steadily, “But… I also wonder if death is what you truly think if best.”

“Hah,” Jason laughed a little hysterically, “What I truly- It’s all I’ve wanted that since I woke up like this.”

There was something about saying that out loud that felt like… maybe shame. 

“All?” Blood inquired skeptically. 

“Well… for a while I also wanted Bruce to fucking fix shit… but he won’t.” Jason admitted bitterly. 

“And? You’ve tied up all the loose ends you wanted to other than that?” Blood raised an eyebrow, “There’s nothing you still need to do? The Red Hood was carving out quite the beginnings of a mission there. Did you care about that or was that really just to get Bruce’s attention? And what about Nightwing? Was what you shared truly such a dismissible thing? So much so that you’re fine with him nearly killing himself to keep you alive and simply throwing that back in his face to kill yourself anyway?”

“You trying to guilt-trip me or something?” Jason said narrowing his eyes and trying to ignore the way it was  _ working. _ The way the intrusive thoughts were already twisting him up inside and making him uncertain.

“Not particularly,” Blood shrugged, “Though if you are feeling guilty perhaps you should examine why.”

“Fuck you.” Jason glowered, “Stop pretending like you’re doing that understanding crap when you’re just like the rest of them.”

“Oh? You sound very sure of that.” Blood said, and for a moment, Jason could see a flicker of hellfire in his eyes. More than that, he could feel Etrigan just beneath the surface. A certain heightened awareness that he’d never had as a human. A little something that made him feel a little wild himself.

“Fuck, cut that out.” Jason snapped.

“As you say,” Blood tilted his head. He didn’t even twitch or change anything visibly, but Jason felt Etrigan presence retreat ever so slightly. 

“Just because you share a body with a demon doesn’t mean you can tell me whether or not a I really want to… to not…” Jason tried to snap.

“To not live anymore?” Blood raised an eyebrow, “No, I have no doubt in my mind that you really do want to die. But you’re not a fairy Jason; you are capable of experiencing more than one desire at the same time. Furthermore, you’re capable of experiencing strong desires that completely contradict each other.”

“I…” Jason didn’t really want to examine that thought. He had a feeling that Blood wouldn’t be giving him a choice in the matter though.

“My question to you is: are there things in this world that you can not bare to give up? If there are, then I’d rather help you find a way to deal with your desire for death so it doesn’t rob you of those things.” Blood said seriously.

Jason stayed quiet. He thought of those families in Crime Alley that needed justice… a justice Batman couldn’t quite deliver because he had been born rich and there were something he just couldn’t  _ get _ . The Pro’s that would smile at him gratefully when he offered his protection and didn’t try to shame them for their line of work. The warmth of Alfred’s cooking and his reserved but fierce affection that Jason hadn’t been able to face since he’d come back a monster. The sheer need in his soul that had Bruce’s name on it. Dick kissing him and wanting him without Jason’s demonic influence, never being interested in going further than Jason wanted, trusting him even though he really really shouldn’t.

And his fucking Replacment. Geez, Jason thought maybe he should stay alive just so he could give that punk a fucking talking to. Maybe beat a survival instinct into him or something while he was at it. 

“Now, you’re clearly not a person ruled by desire, no matter how strong one might be. If you were, then you would have fed on Timothy and Richard when they first came for you and you were dying of hunger. Or you would have given into your desire to please Bruce rather than sticking to your more violent crusade when you viewed there to be a lack of effective justice being doled out.” Blood pointed out, “So here and now, what is driving you? As Timothy explained, I will help gain back control and provide solution to your feeding problem so it is no longer a matter of constantly being on the edge of preforming monstrous acts. You have never expressed that you thought  _ I _ should be exterminated, so the simple act of existing as a demon isn’t enough for you either. So what is?”

“It’s not- I don’t-” Jason lifted a hand over his face, wanting to hide. Wanting to- fuck. And there was a tight and painful feeling in his chest and the sense that the floor had been ripped out from under him, “God fucking damn you to hell, there’s nothing, ok? I just want it. And you’re right, that isn’t fucking enough for me to justify acting on it. You win, you fucking son of a fucker, I hope you’re happy.”

“No, but you’ve certainly given me hope that you might one day be, for which I am grateful.” Blood said, and Jason could feel his amusement over his choice of language. Fucker.

“Go away. I don’t want to look at you.” Jason said. He felt so angry, but he wasn’t sure if it was at himself or Blood-- A bit of both most likely. 

“As you wish, but I will ask you not be by yourself until you are feeling… better.” Blood said. There was a weird shifting of the light behind Jason’s hands and a sense that the world was tipping-

“Jason?” And that was definitely Dick’s voice. Jason uncovered his face and saw that not only was Blood gone, but Jason was now sitting in Dick’s room at the Manor. 

“Fucking magic users.” muttered Jason crossly. 

“Magic users- what?” Dick was trying to sit up on the bed. The action made his face go dangerously pale thought.

“Lay your ass down.” Jason ordered. It was weird not being able feel him. He’d gotten used to the… flavor? of Dick’s various feelings and desires. Everything felt so much more muted now. But if this was the cost of keeping everyone around him safe from himself then Jason would gladly pay it.

“Get over here then.” Dick said stubbornly. Jason glared at him but complied. Dick flopped down into the pillows with a huff and patted the bed next to him. Jason hesitated a moment before clambering into place. 

“You… they got you fixed up alright then?” Jason asked not looking at him. 

“Oh yeah. Right now I just have some lingering fatigue. I’m on strict order not to feed you for a while though.” Dick said with rueful smile.

“...sorry.” muttered Jason, his stomach twisting up with guilt anew. 

“Don’t worry about it. Not like it isn’t my own fault for ignoring all the signs.” Dick waved his apology away. 

Jason didn’t think that was quite true, but he had a feeling Dick wouldn’t let them pin all the blame on Jason where it should be so he said nothing. 

“How are  _ you _ feeling?” Dick nudged him.

“Fine.” Jason responded automatically.

“Really?” Dick said raising an eyebrow, “Because you had kind of a really stressful day from what I’ve heard.”

That was the understatement of the year. Dick didn’t even know the half of it. 

“I’m fine.” Jason repeated. He saw give him a look out of the corner of his eye, clearly not buying it but obviously deciding to let the lie go for now. 

“I’m glad you’re ok though. We, uh, got pretty worried when you just disappeared.” Dick said carefully. Jason wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what they’d thought when they’d found the empty and broken containment pod, “What’s the verdict by the way?”

“I’ve got new seals,” Jason gestured at his chest, “That will take care of feeding me indirectly from now on and dampen my influence. Jason Blood with be working with me to make sure I can control the other stuff.”

“That’s so good!” Dick said with obvious relief, “I know you weren’t big on any of the feeding stuff even once we found ways that worked. I’m glad you can get everything you need this way.”

Jason stayed quiet. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that response. On the one hand, Jason certainly wasn’t really ready to give Dick those sorts of things without the necessity of feeding… But it still hurt that the things Dick had done had only been out of a sense of obligation. He didn’t want Dick to want him because then Jason didn’t want to let him down by not being able to give him what he wanted. He also really wanted Dick to want him, to have some of that warm easy feeling Jason had gotten to taste so briefly. 

Contrary as usual, Jason supposed. 

“Having Jason Blood around is going to be weird. Jason and Jason. It’s going to get confusing,” Dick grinned, “I guess I’ll have to come up with a nickname for him. You’re all set, you’ll always be my Little Wing.”

“I guess.” Jason said staring at his fingers on the comforter. He wanted- he  _ wanted _ \- and it was so different than wanting to feed on Dick-

“Jay?”

“It’s nothing.” Jason muttered. He steeled himself, reminded himself that even when things had gotten really bad Dick had never trespassed over his boundaries, and carefully lay down next to Dick. For his part, Dick looked really confused but also extremely pleased. He gave him a 100 watt smile, like Jason had given him a gift just by being there.

“You know I really love you, right?” Dick said happily. 

“...I dunno what the fuck that’s supposed to mean in your crazy head.” Jason shot back letting a little of his frustration show.

“Neither am I.” admitted Dick, his eyes softening, “I just know it’s true. Wanna stick around and figure it out with me?”

“Your crazy.” Jason decided.

“You’re just figuring this out?”

“I must be too though ‘cause, y’know, I might be able to like you back and all that. Maybe.” Jason mumbled.

“And all that?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“I guess.”

“Ha,” Dick said, his eye bright and brimming with hopeful pleasure and amusement, “You sure have a way with words.”

“Fuck off.” Jason gave him a sour look.

“I’d rather not.” Dick said, “I’ve said from the beginning that we’d done this relationship thing all backwards. I’d like to try again with you. Properly. And just as slow as you want it.”

“Crazy.” repeated Jason frowning again, “I’m a demon now, remember? And I’ve already nearly killed you once. Have some fucking self preservation.”

“Pot, kettle.” Dick grinned, “Anyway, look at me, do you think I care about that? You’re my Little Wing, the rest is all negotiable.”

“I don’t want to be your pity project.” Jason said.

“Never.”

“I don’t believe you.” Jason stated immediately, but cut Dick off before he could be offended, “But… I wouldn’t mind if you proved me otherwise.”

“Jay…”

“Shut up and just… stay.” muttered Jason laying down next to him properly. It felt weird. He didn’t have to worry about getting too hungry and hurting Dick. Didn’t have to worry about Dick hurting him like that, because he’d proven he never would. Still, the aftertaste of danger and anxiety lingered. 

Jason wondered if it would always be there or if it would eventually fade.

“You were supposed to be a side effect of all that demon madness.” muttered Jason accusingly.

“Yeah?” Dick gave him a truly soft smile. Jason wanted to punch it off his stupid pretty face. Or maybe just pull him close. He did neither. 

“I guess…” Jason looked away.

“I’ll stay if you stay.” Dick hummed. When Jason looked back at him, his eyes had already closed again and his breathing started to even out. 

“I… yeah.” Jason swallowed. Hope was such a stupid thing. Such a fucking stupid thing and he should know better. But… it’s what he had right now, even as small as it was. 

He might be the demon here, but he swore sometimes Dick had magic. Maybe, day by day, Jason could find more reasons to continue to be. And… maybe to be with him. They’d have to wait and see on that one. 

Jason laughed at himself quietly and let himself relax. In moments he was falling into an exhausted sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I had a whole scene where Tim was the one to smuggle Jason out and away. But that was before I decided to bring Jason Blood in and really address Jason Todd's struggle of self hatred and suicide. I miss the scene with Tim, but it's better this way. I also had to try and figure out how I was going to write a conversation between two Jason's. That was fun.
> 
> Jason won't heal over night, but he and Dick will work it out slowly over time I think. They'll have to be lots of conversations where they just lay out boundaries. But... I think it'll work out in the end :)
> 
> This is the last chapter, the next bit is just a tiny epilogue of Red Hood and Nightwing.


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give you a little taste of life after from an outsiders point of view.

_ “No one comes in or out of here till the shipment is done, you hear me? If you see a Bat, shoot them down.”  _ Black Mask had told his men. 

The guard sighed and fiddled with the safety of his gun. Batman and Robin had been sighted on the other side of town taking care of a different fiasco tonight. It seemed like it was very unlikely they’d have trouble tonight. Still, Black Mask wasn’t taking any chances and had armed all his men like they were a small militia rather than just the look-outs the job ought to call for.

Still, it paid well, so the guard wasn’t going to complain about an easy night.

“Don’t scream.” a filtered voice came from behind him along with the distinctive shape of a gun at the back of his head. The guard tensed and tried to casually flip the safety off his gun wondering what his chances of survival were and also what this idiot was thinking because he wasn’t alone and the other guards were right there… just standing and staring with slightly slack jaws. 

“Put your weapons in a pile and tie each other to that rig.” the voice ordered and moved around so the guard to see him better. The guard had one moment when he realized with shock that it was the infamous Red Hood that no one had seen in months, that people had begun to say… and then he completely lost his train of thought. 

There was something… other about him. Something wonderful. The guard didn’t know why but he suddenly felt like he might do anything to please this person. Everything else had become secondary- no, inconsequential- next to the vigilante in front of him. 

“ _ Got all the guards on the south side tied up nice and pretty. How you doing?” _ the guard heard the hooded man’s radio crackle. Or- he was letting him hear his radio.

“Got it, Nightwing. This nice shitstain was just about to tell us everything he knows about this operation, weren’t you?” The Red Hood asked pointedly.

The guard felt hot under hit collar, his breath a little short, and really there was no question because the only thing he could answer was a eager “ _ Yes _ .”

“ _ Don’t be too mean to him Red,” _ Nightwing laughed, “ _ I’ll see you inside.” _

“Don’t do anything stupid without me.”

“ _ Oh ye of little faith.” _

“Damn right, I’m a demon.”

The guard managed to think that Nightwing and the Red Hood were a very strange pair, and then the Red Hood was turning his attention back to him and all other thoughts left as he began spilling every last secret he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It's finished! That was kind of hard to write the angst got a little hard to write. I need something fluffy. Sadly, I was realizing that almost all my next story updates contain angst. Sigh.
> 
> If you are interested in what's coming, it looks like it will be:  
> 1\. More than Meets the Eye  
> 2\. (an unnamed one shot I've had in bits for a while)  
> 3\. next My Bondless Love story  
> After that... we'll probably be in 2018 by that point. Possibly either 'Forget Me Not' or more Mermaid AU.

**Author's Note:**

> Come bother me on [Tumblr!](https://wellthatjusthappend.tumblr.com/)


End file.
